Tag:work
Posted on: February 1, 2008 10:08 am
 

A guy kinda like me. . .

Does anyone else have that dude in your office that you can't figure out what the heck he does and why he earns a paycheck?

You know, you always see him walking around talking to other people or in the breakroom reading the sports page.  Even when you see him sitting at his desk he's always on the internet looking at weather.com or foxnews or sportsline. . .or maybe he's working one of those damn Sudoku puzzles.  And even when he's on the phone, you can tell he's not having a work related conversation cause he's laughing way too much. 

Well, I'm here to tell you that as far as I know, there's not a guy like that where I work. . .now excuse me, I've got a sports page to read. . .

Category: General
Posted on: January 31, 2008 10:35 am
 

Bored at work. . .take a charge

Sometimes when I'm walking down the hallway and I see two co-workers walking towards me, I try to step in front of one of them at the last second and take a charge.  Then I look up at the other person as ask them to make a call. . .half the time they call a charge, and the other half of the time they just sit there wondering what the hell just happened.  Both are appropriate responses. . .

Note:  Do not take a charge on a co-worker that's holding a cup of coffee!

Category: General
Posted on: January 31, 2008 9:35 am
 

I like to market myself. . .

Here's an actual cover letter I sent for a Marketing job in Chi-town. . .I never heard back. . .why?!?!

Dear Specific Person(s) who is/are/might be Reading this Letter: I have reviewed your website and I see that you are looking for employees who are highly creative, intelligent individuals who are willing to take on any task assigned to them.  I am forwarding you my resume on the off chance that none of those people have or will apply. As you review my resume, it may appear that my marketing experience is limited, but you should know that my real marketing expereince has been forged in the School of Life, or SoL as I call it.  For example, back in my college days I became quite proficient at marketing myself to members of the opposite sex.  Sure I floundered at first, but over time I became skilled at drawing in new clientele, though I did struggle to gain any repeat business.  I have also successfully mastered the art of persuasion.  During the last two Presidental elections, I was able to convice my wife to vote for Bush while I secretly voted for Gore and Kerry, just so I could have 8 years of "I told you so"s to use in arguments.  Currently, I am in intense negotiations with my 2 year old to convince her to use the potty so that I can be relieved of diaper duty.  Thus far, she has proved to be a shrewd negotiator. As for my work attitude, I believe it can be best described by comparing myself to a character from one of my favorite shows, "The Office."  If you watch the show, I am just like the guy who sat in the back of the office next to Creed who got fired by Michael in the Halloween episode, I think his name was Devon.  By that I mean I am content to work behind the scenes, to be a minor character if you will, but I will probably get really pi$$ed if I get fired for no reason. Thank you in advance for taking the time to review my resume.  I am too old and too settled to be an intern, but I hope to someday be qualified to submit work on a freelance basis.  Also, I enjoy my current job and who really wants to move to Chicago anyway.  At the very least, I hope you have enjoyed reading my letter as much as I have enjoyed writing it.  I am glad I have done my small part to contribute to your company's recycling goals. Truly Affectionate and Sincerely Yours,
 
 
 
 
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